A conclusion

After weeks of distress, I realised something this morning. And that is that I'm not happy unless I feel like I'm achieving something (whether that is that I'm on the path to achieving something). But I hate the feeling of futileness, and I hate wasting time.
It's interesting too, having to turn my life from where I am now to back on track, focused. Like last night I was missing out so much on competing, and I was thinking and getting excited about my new routine. I can't wait to perform it. And I was thinking and planning what I need to do to get their, my action plan. It's so clear what I have to do. Now the challenge is to be able to go into training and not be distracted by everyone else, who are training for competition one month ahead of me.

Just to add - hopefully it'll be HO P, b/s, HO T, DB T, and ending FTB, rudi, DB P. That would as AWESOME as it's going to get, aside from not being able to do my other dream routine.